Courtesy, a lost art! :-(

cour·te·sy

/ˈkɜrtəsi or, for 5, ˈkɜrtsi/ Show Spelled [kur-tuh-see or, for 5, kurt-see] Show IPA noun, plural -sies, adjective noun

1.excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior.

2.a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression. 

 

I looked up this word in the dictionary recently just to understand it better, and to be sure I was not going insane...because, I don't know if you've noticed but, there is NO courtesy in our society any longer. It is a lost art.  The word is lost on us all.  Simple acts of kindness like opening a dorr for someone, offering a seat on a crowded bus, not crowding the sidewalk, standing to one side of the escalator so people can pass...these simple acts of courtesy are long forgotten.

I was sitting in a cafe one afternoon and was trying to read some emails...I say 'trying' because the guy behind me was talking on his cell phone...well actually, he was shouting. I guess he figured everyone in the cafe needed to know his business. Not only was he talking so loudly, I could even hear the person on the other end...I was getting the entire conversation.  And there are those who insist on texting well at the movies...forget that the advertisements remind us to TURN OFF our cell phones! 

I'm heading to the airport with a large suitcase in one hand and a carryon bag and laptop bag in the other. I get to the door of the bus station and switch bags so that I can open the door, I strunggle, get the door open, pull my suitcase thru...and this guy out of no where pushes me aside to get past the open door that I am holding.  Or better yet, I am exiting the metro and arrive at the door a few second before people on the otherside of the door are arriving to enter...as I pull open the door to pass thru, this guy rushes thru and pushes me aside to get out of the way, then gets upset at me when I block him and go thru first. 

And SO many people DO NOT know how to walk on the side walk. No matter where I've gone in the world, I have never seen it so bad as here in Canada, here in Montreal. People do not know how to walk on the side walk! First you have your left-siders, the ones that do not realize that proper sidewalk etiquette suggests that we walk on the right side of the sidewalk. Then there are the 2-people walkers, who do not realize that most side walks are only wide enough for two people so firstly, if they are walking side by side they should allow on comers to pass...and on-comers should also be aware of the courtesy of stepping aside to allow side-by-side walkers to pass. Let us now forget the group walkers...these people think because they are in a group they OWN the sidewalk. Well, even MORE reason for these people to allow on-comers to pass. And os course, when you are walking with your loved one, mom, or special friend, you should be aware of the fact that YOU as the well mannered person, should always...ALWAYS walk on the out-side...never allow your partner to be on the side of the traffic...it is a common courtesy.

You are lined up in the supermarket and you have a cart load of items, the lady behind you has a few items...let her pass before you. A few more seconds will not make a difference.  

Our bus drivers need HUGE lessons in courtesy...they way they drive, they way the speak to passengers...most clerks need lessons in smiling and manners and dealing with costumers no matter how irate they may be.

I once was visiting a small city in Mexico, and took a stroll down one of the main streets which was busier then any street in Montreal, but no matter how busy or rushed, everyone greeted me with a 'buenos dias' or 'hola'.  This same thing happened when I was in Tel Aviv, and in England. People there, no matter what walk of life, greet you. It is both refreshing and warming. This is definitely not something we do here...if you were to greet someone like that here, they'd think you were loopy.

In many cultures families are united and work together. The elderly are regarded with esteem, the young are guided gently but firmly, adults are respected, rules are obeyed, and people are genuinely respectful to each other. This is not the case here in North America...we have come a far way and advanced greatly in many ways but, we have strayed so far from the family unit and caring for each other...none of our advancements and technologies really matter if this is the path we continue to take...we will end up nowhere.

Courtesy is a lost art.  You see on bus and metro walls reminders to give your seat to the elderly or impaired...we actually have to be reminded to done what is supposed to come naturally. It is a sad sad thing. 

Courtesy is a lost art.

Day Four - our Wedding Day!

Picking the right day to be married was not a very difficult task at all - to celebrate who we are and our lives together made sence to pick the day that was so important to the both of us...the anniversary of the day we met. And so, April 29th became the target date.  It was the perfect date, and made even more perfect when everything we had to do all fell into place without any trouble. Finding the minister, the church, the translator, there ceremony outline, the reception location...it all seemed to work so smoothly, and it all came together in 6 weeks.   By the time the date was made sure, we had to get papers signed and translated...and luckily found a translator who could do it for us in a short time...and the notary was happy for us that he did not charge us for his services...and we ended up with 2 ministers because they we both so happy for us...and instead of using the large church, we went with the beautiful Oak Room for the ceremony.  A small group of close friends joined us for our special day, and also share in music and laughter. It was a very beautiful wedding, emotional, inspiring, loving and real. I love how everyone sang the ending song "I'm Yours". For sure I was THE most happiest guy in the world...but you seemed to be shining yourself...we both shared the tears of joy...it was my dream come true to be married to you!!!!!
And then the cocktails at Sir Winnie's, and then the reception at Wienstien & Gavinos with all our guests and more friend coming to join us. It was perfect.
And leaving the gang later that night to steal away to our hotel...and meeting up with an amazing barmaid who bought us a bottle of Captain Morgans to celebrate with us...and then room service and sleeping in. And then we were off on our short but beautiful honeymoon in the Eastern Townships.
I'm telling you, it was perfect and wonderful and could not have been better.
I married the most amazing person that day...and life was awesome! There is no one I would rather spend my life with than YOU! You are my everything.

Day Three - the engagement 1 & 2

Living together was more than I had imagined...it was like a dream...I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt with you there, knowing you for only a short while, and sharing a 12 x 12 room and not getting in each other's way or on each other's nerves. It was a kind of bliss! A few months in and we had spent a Saturday sanding the deck with Omar, having a BBQ and having many beers! Later that night Omar fell asleep on our bed so we moved ourselves to the garage to listen to music and talk...you and me and the music. We talked for hours about so many things...there was no doubt I had fallen for you. And right then, when I was thinking that very thought, you got down on one knee, took my hand in yours, and asked me if I would marry you...I was so surprised! I hadn't seen it coming. But, I was so very happy - that moment made me realize your heart - it made me the happiest I had ever been. And of course I said YES!!!! We shared in tears and laughter in that moment...I could not believe it was happening, at a time in my life when everything had been going wrong, you had come along and turned it all around...and now, you wanted to share a life with me...it was way too awesome!
When Omar awoke and joined us in the garage, we told him the good news...I don't know who was more happy, us or him! It was a moment I could not forget even if I tried.
But, it wasn't until much later that year, on December 24th to be exact, that it was made official. We were invited to spend the holidays with Omar at his apartment downtown.  Omar was having a Christmas Eve party for all of the friend who had no family to celebrate with.  Do you remember?
It was approaching midnight and everyone exchanged 'Merry Christmas' wishes...I took your hand and led you out of the living room, into the bedroom...and with Omar as a witness, I gave you your gift to open. I remember the surprise and shock in your eyes when you saw the rings.  Even Omar cried.  And infront of all the friends gathered, we announced our official engagement...December 25th, 2009! This was my 3rd day with you, and so glad was I to have met the most incredible guy ever!

Day 2 - Moving in.

After an incredible first meeting, I returned home...but all I could think of was what a wonderful time we had. And, of course, how anxious I was to see this guy again. I returned to see him the next evening - and there was an impromptu gathering of friends at his place and an afterward the gang went to a club near your place where we danced and laughed and had much fun. And then, our first night together.  How wonderful to share that experience, and how well we clicked. The next day I helped to clean your apartment, as you and you roommate were both moving. Omar to live with his boyfriend, and you to share an apartment with friends...but you were still deciding what to do.  I stayed with you that night and Saturday we moved out all the stuff that no one wanted. We packed up your belongings and then...we went around the neighborhood looking at apartments you might share with your friends. But, it was an unfruitful search; there was just nothing. I remember how stressed you were over this, and how desperate you were...you had only one more day until your lease ran out to find a place.  I felt helpless for you, and I wanted to do something. That's when I suggested to move in with me until you could figure out what to do. You looked a bit terrified at the idea, but it would give you the chance to gather your things and to think. You later talked with Omar (your best friend) about it - he thought it was worth trying for a while, and he made me promise (in secret) to look out for you and help you if I could. I take promises very seriously.
At some point that evening you gave in to the idea and the next day we packed up your stuff and moved you to my place.  You hadn't realized how far out of the city I actually lived until we exited the metro and boarded a bus, and rode for 25 mins...I could tell you were getting anxious at this.  I cannot imagine what you were thinking during the long bus ride except "What was I thinking?" lol
We arrived at our stop and carried your stuff for another 5 minute walk to my place. It must have seemed like a very long way from the city. Entering the house you met 'my family', my roommates...and how scarey that must have been to meet everyone all at once. And then to see the size of our room...hehehe...I would have run the other way but not you, you stayed. And how quickly you adapted, and how quickly you became part of the family. And to think, we had only met a few days earlier...yet, I admit, I was already very much in love with you. Our second day together will always remain in my heart - the day we moved in together.

The 1st day

Chatting online with someone you never met may cause you to develop all kinds of ideas on the person's character and appearance.  We first started communicating after first meeting on a chat site. It was his picture that drew me to his profile. We exchanged hellos and eventually exchanged msn addresses and then we would chat every now and then.  Our work schedules were one thing we had to deal with...I worked 8am to 5pm, he worked 2pm to midnight...so our chats were usually at my lunch break or when he got in from work...and on days he wasn't working and I was, we would chat briefly before he was heading out with friends...and when I wasn't working and he was, we'd catch each other briefly in between whatever it was we were running off to.
But then is came to pass one day, when I was off of work and happened to go online and find him there and not at work. We began to chat and after a few hours decided that, since we were both free, we should meet. I was so excited...but my excitement quickly turned into anxiety. I mean, sure, we got along quite nicely online, and had so much to talk about and share...but what if, in person, we did not connect? What if we just didn't like each other? These are the thoughts I'd scare myself into...and it wasn't long until I started feeling nervous.
I showered and dressed and headed out to catch the bus...all the way wondering and worrying. I arrived 10 minutes before the planned time...he was 15 minutes late. That extra time was all I needed to get more anxious and wonder if he would show up at all.  The mind plays funny tricks on us when we are anxious.  He did finally arrive and though he looked much younger in person than in his pictures, we hit it off right away.  It was like meeting up with an old friend and catching up on life...we talked and laughed, sharing a Sangria...and the more we talked the more I grew to like him...and I would be bold enough to say 'love at first site' because I did like what I saw.
Though we were from different worlds and different generations...we had much to share...and we fit each other really well.  It was unbelievable how much we shared in that first meeting.  And, I am happy of the fact that the moved in together after having only met a few days before.
I had found my soulmate online, of all places, and if it hadnt been for that chance of us both being online at the very same time, we might have never met for you see, he was planning on heading back home to Mexico that very afternoon...but put it off to meet me! I did not know this until some time later...happy I am he had not told me or I might have made him catch his flight...happy am I that he did miss it, because I have never been happier!!!!!!

7 days with You

Introduction
Life is so short.  After high school graduation everything is like a blur...gone are the careless days of running free with no worries in the world. College and University are a full time job...between coffee breaks and working a real job to stay alive, there are endless papers and projects and exams and reports and labs and productions...and then, all-of-a-sudden you graduate and are off into the real world to figure out what to do...and once you think you are on the right path, wham, reality checks-in, and there are bills to pay, responsibilities, career, relationship...
...it all goes so fast. Sometimes its nice to just step back and look at your life just so you cant remember who you are.
For me, after spending 6 years in my career and realizing it was not what I expected or wanted, I was faced with starting over.  Stats show that most people will change their career up to 3 times in their life. That's huge! When you think about all the time and money you spend in school trying to figure out what road to take and once you decided and put all your time and energy and finances into the goal, its sad to come to the realization that you probably wont end up where you thought you would.
A waste of time? Not at all. It is a part of growing and learning and living life.
Relationships are probably along the same lines. I have spent so much time and energy in various relationship that I thought were 'the one' and in the end come to realize it was not what I wanted to needed.  But eventually you find what you are looking for...or need...and then time slips away from you.
I've decided to make every bit count!
At the moment me and my love are a part...due to immigration laws and endless paper work, we cannot be together as we would like. It is a very trying and stressful time for us...we want so much to be together...but have to deal with this time a part in a manageable and meaningful way.
I am writing a small journal for my love, titled "7 days with you"...and I am picking 7 of the most important days of our relationship together...7 days that made what we have real and incredible...7 days not to be forgotten...7 days that were the most crucial of our bond...7 days that brought us 'forever' moments.
A love story? Maybe. A life story? Why not.  Lessons learned are always a bonus.
Its not all flowers and sunshine...but what we have was made incredible by what we shared...and so often in life we forget to share the little things...taking moments in life to appreciate and to be thankful.
So here are my 7 days...

My thoughts are gooberish.

Hmmm...my first blog. This is exciting!
I've been wanting to do this for a while but life always got in the way. I used to keep journals, but even then...I had no time to keep them up. So, after much thought and deliberation, I decided to get my thoughts out by blogging. None of my friends know yet. I wanted it to be a surprise.
Usually I write about life and whats going on...my observations on this whole 'life' thing that's happening to all of us. Sometimes I believed that I had the answers to life's most difficult questions, and then realize that all I really had were more questions. Maybe the questions are the answers? Maybe there are no answers. Maybe we just have to live life and figure things out along the way.
Anyway, if we did have all the answers I doubt life would be very much fun. Its best to not know somethings and be happy about it.
SO, my first blob...i guess it would be a good idea to introduce myself. My name is Peter. I am a Canadian, but Mexican at heart. I love everything about Mexico; the food, the people, the culture, the history, the food...oops, said that.  I married a Mexican and have had the greatest experiences. My in-laws are so awesome...I mean really...how lucky is that to have such cool in-laws? If I had it my way, I'd be living in Mexico right now but, our current plans are to forge a life here in Canada...unfortunately, the Canadian Government doesn't seem to agree with out plans. We are having a tough time trying to get a visa or resident status. Don't get me started on the Harper Government...a bunch of bumbling useless twits!  So, for the meantime, we are a part...and waiting anxiously to be together.  Now, with all this extra time on my hands...I write! hehehehe
My thoughts are varied.
I have opinions on lots of things.
And I like to talk about things I am very passionate about...music, writing, traveling...
So, my blogs will most likely be varied.
I am a deep person...I am a thinker. I am complex and I am very open. I am easy to know and hard to lose. I'm a good friend, great listener, and caring. 
I will write about the people I have known and hope to know...I will write about what moves me and what gets my goat. I will share stories...I will share opinions...and for sure i will blog about the person I have come to be because of the great people in my life. 
Stick around for my next blogs!  Its going to be fun!